


In The Darkest of Times, Light Will Find You

by earais



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brief mention of depression, Hurt/Comfort, brief mention of suicidal ideation, nothing too strong though but be careful if you're sensitive to these things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23598274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earais/pseuds/earais
Summary: Osamu found you at the rooftop, looking over the ledge. What took you all the way there? And could he save your life?
Relationships: Miya Osamu & Reader, Miya Osamu/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	In The Darkest of Times, Light Will Find You

“There you are.”

Osamu gasped for air. He had run all the way here and up the stairs –it had been a race between life and death.

“There you are,” he muttered to himself as he walked up to you. “There you _are._ ”

And he hugged you tight, so tight that you wouldn’t fall no matter what.

He had found you on a rooftop, under the rain, looking over the ledge that separated you from the plunge on the other side. Osamu saw the city ahead, so far below you two, the city lights shining oblivious to the lives and troubles of the people who populated the metropolis. He held you against his body, warm and safe.

“I found you.”

You sobbed against his chest, silent tears drenching his already wet shirt. He didn’t know what had broken your heart like this, but he would be there for you, whatever the problem was.

He had noticed you were acting different lately. It happened very subtly at first, so when he realized that your smile was missing every day, when you were usually a cheerful person bringing light to everyone’s life, maybe it was too late already.

Like a bird, hiding an illness until it’s too obvious, and by that point it is impossible to cure it.

Osamu didn’t know what to say, how to react. Lately he had been so busy with his business and he barely found the time to check on you. Maybe his head had been too full of food, more so than his stomach.

_You would go every day to his shop to buy onigiri. It had become a tradition between you, since the very first day he opened his business. No matter if the day was hot or rainy, cloudy or freezing, you would show up at the same hour for your onigiri, and he would always be there to serve you himself. No other worker got the privilege of giving you the food._

_Every day, you would stay in front of the onigiri display behind the glass. Some days you would take your time, rubbing your chin as you tried to decide which flavor to taste that day; other times you just pretended to hesitate, but you would know since the moment you woke up that you’d have the tuna one, without a doubt; on the rare occasion that you couldn’t make up your mind, you would leave it up to Osamu._

_“I suggest salmon,” Osamu would say._

_You would press your lips together, not wanting to reject his offer, but he would know from your expression that you didn’t fancy that one today._

_“Egg?” He suggested._

_You shook your head._

_“Okaka?”_

_You pouted. Osamu sighed and smiled._

_“Give me a second. I have the right thing for you.”_

_Osamu would appear a minute later with a wrapped onigiri. The paper was matte, so you couldn’t see what kind was inside, and he refused to tell you –you’d have to blindly trust him._

_He gave you a reassuring smile and a nod and you paid him and left._

_The first bite tasted like heaven. Pork and egg. Of course Osamu never failed you._

“I’ve failed you, ‘Samu,” you sobbed and sniffed, your words barely coming out of your mouth, your voice shaky and frail.

“No… you haven’t. Don’t say that. _I_ have failed you.”

“Don’t ever say that…”

Your voice broke completely and you couldn’t add anything else, breaking down as you desperately grabbed at his shirt. His hands rubbed your back, trying to comfort you.

That day, you hadn’t visited Osamu’s shop. He had missed your presence, of course, but he had assumed you were just busy, maybe travelling.

But throughout the day, as he served other customers and his display got emptier and emptier, he couldn’t stop thinking that in the last days you hadn’t looked well at all.

_You talked often, you always had since the day you had left high school but had refused to lose contact with Osamu. He was your best friend, after all. Life was hectic and your job implied lots of travelling, so you had to rely on your phone to communicate with him. Sometimes, when you were in a hotel room in some strange country, where you didn’t even understand the signs or the TV news, his voice on the other side of the line would comfort you._

_Osamu had always felt like home._

_One day, recently, he had phoned you in the morning, while you were on a trip to New York. You had heard the phone ringing while you were washing your face and you had tapped your hand around searching for the device. Not looking at the name on the screen, guessing it was your boss, you had answered in a formal tone, pressing a towel against your face in a rush to clean the drops of water._

_“Since when are you this formal?” Osamu’s voice said on the other side, clearly holding back a chuckle. “Who do you think is calling you, the Emperor?”_

_“No, uh… no. I didn’t see the name on the screen. Why are you calling this early, ‘Samu?”_

_And this time he actually chuckled._

_“It’s late in here, (y/n).”_

_“Uh.”_

_You rubbed your eyes, still sleepy, unable to wait for the moment you’d finally drink your first coffee of the day._

_“Don’t tell me you forgot you’re in New York.”_

_“Uh. No. Not at all.”_

_“That’s clearly a yes.”_

_And even if you couldn’t see his face, you imagined Osamu smiling, as he always did when he caught you lying –because you were the worst liar in the world, and he enjoyed how hard you tried and failed every single time._

_You wished you could feel more awake right now._

_“So, what are you doing, ‘Samu?” You asked, searching for your moisturizer on your travel kit with your free hand._

_“Just closing for today.”_

_“The shop?”_

_“Yes, (y/n). The shop.”_

_His voice was patient with you. He had always been very patient, no matter what you did._

_Your biggest treasure, this Osamu guy._

_“I guess you haven’t had your coffee yet,” he teased you._

_“I could drink three extra big cups today,” you groaned. “How was your day? Did you sell a lot?”_

_“Yes, the display is almost empty. It was a good day.”_

_You could imagine him leaning on the counter, taking his cap off, combing his messy dark hair with his fingers. Instinctually, you slid your fingers through your hair too._

_“I’m sure it was busy too,” you said. “But your smile never drops before any clients, I wonder how you do it…”_

_“It’s because I love my job.”_

_Maybe it was because of how sleepy you still were, your brain still foggy, but you found yourself saying:_

_“I love how much you smile now, ‘Samu. I love to see you so happy.”_

_He laughed wholeheartedly, and you imagined him resting his hand on his belly and everything._

_“Well, wasn’t I happy before?”_

_“It wasn’t the same. You didn’t smile as much in high school.”_

_You heard a content sigh on the other side of the phone._

_“I guess you’re right. I can’t complain about my life right now. And you?”_

_It was an honest question, and you weren’t ready to give an honest answer. Hesitating, you finally said:_

_“I guess it’s okay.”_

_You didn’t want to ruin his happiness, to burden him with your problems. You didn’t want to see his smile vanish, but you also wondered, maybe selfishly, why you couldn’t smile in the same way._

_To make things worse, there wasn’t one specific problem you could point your finger at. It was more a pile of issues that added to an increasing despair in your soul, one you couldn’t handle no matter how much you tried. Running away wouldn’t fix anything and you were painfully aware, yet you had no other way to cope with daily life._

_The bubble would burst eventually._

At the end of the day, Osamu had phoned you. He was worried that you hadn’t come to his shop and you hadn’t left him any messages either.

He waited for you to get the call, the beeps echoing in his ear. When you didn’t answer, he called again. Nothing.

Staring at the phone in confusion, a growing pressure building inside his chest, he checked your social media profile. The messages you had posted there were gloomy. “I’m tired”, “I don’t see the point anymore”. The point of what? Osamu’s grip tightened around the phone.

He cleaned up the shop in a rush, closed it, and went out to the dark street, under the drizzle, first walking on his way home, then changing his mind, turning around and walking faster, trotting, finally running, rushing to the place where you could be.

When he arrived to the door of your apartment, which he knew well, he knocked on the door while he pressed his fingers against the doorbell. His knuckles hit the wooden surface more and more desperately, but nobody opened. No sounds coming from inside. No light seeping through the curtains.

He phoned you again, and one more time he was faced with silence, only the beeps of the phone answering him.

He tousled his own hair, sighing heavily. Now what?

_He had wanted to ask you out, in high school._

_It had taken Osamu a while to gather up the courage to do it, mostly because you were a third year and he was one year younger, and somehow he was iffy about dating someone older than him because you had always been so responsible and now he felt like a rascal in front of you -even if, in comparison with his twin, Osamu was the mature one. He was almost embarrassed to admit that he was as bratty as his brother._

_But he didn’t want to lose his last opportunity to ask you out, even if it was the stupidest idea he ever had in his entire life, because you had just graduated and you would move on to college, and yet he was convinced you could still go on dates on your free time. He had missed the opportunity to date you while you were manager of the volleyball team but Atsumu, for once, had said something reasonable and had convinced Osamu that “better late than never”._

_“I wanted to tell you something before you go,” Osamu told you, looking at his hands, his fingers fidgeting._

_He had taken you aside from the rest of your classmates and had memorized your figure, the last time he would see you in your school uniform._

_“I too wanted to talk to you… before I go,” you replied, pushing a lock of hair behind your ear._

_A shaky, nervous smile appeared on Osamu’s face._

_“Okay, you go first,” he said._

_“Yeah. Uhm… Well, listen…” You didn’t seem to find the right words and your eyes wandered around, as shy as his own. “You know I’m going to college.”_

_“You told me the first time we met,” he pointed out, arching his eyebrows._

_“Yeah. Of course. Well… I got a message this morning. I applied for a college in the US and… they accepted me.”_

_No matter how reassuring your smile tried to be, Osamu felt a punch in his gut. Calm as he was, he kept a straight face while dealing with the torment inside._

_“The US,” he echoed._

_“Yes.”_

_“You never told me you applied for an American college.”_

_“I honestly didn’t think they’d accept me,” you explained, gesturing with your hands. “This was as unexpected for me as it is for you.”_

_Osamu wanted to congratulate you. He wanted to keep a straight expression, or even smile at you. But all he could do was to stare into your eyes._

_“Please don’t look at me like that…” You begged. “I know you’re sad. I’m sad too. I know I promised you to keep seeing each other when I went to college, but… I can’t let this opportunity pass, Osamu.”_

_Lowering his chin, he muttered:_

_“Of course. I understand.”_

_You gave him a worried look, but he didn’t add a single word._

_“So… what did you want to tell me?” You finally asked._

_“Oh, it was just…” He shook his head. “I wanted to wish you the best in the future. And tell you it’s been an honor to have you as the team manager. And as a friend,” he quickly added. “And I hope we can stay in contact even if you leave for the US.”_

_You smiled fondly._

_“Or course, ‘Samu. We will always be in contact.”_

There was only one other place where Osamu could find you that wasn’t your apartment.

During your high school years, the volleyball club guys and you would often visit a building nearby the school whose rooftop was open to everyone. It was a secret kept inside the team and you would all spend your free time there, enjoying the views, eating snacks and playing jokes on each other. Rumors said that some of the youngest team members would go there when they skipped practice, and one had even been caught once kissing a girl there.

Now, Osamu ran under the rain, hoping to find you there, in the place where you two had spent so many hours together.

_“Congrats on your graduation!” Osamu’s voice had told you on the phone, sounding more cheerful than ever. “When were you planning to tell me?”_

_“I just got out of the ceremony!” You laughed. “And I thought it was too early in Japan. I was planning to call you later.”_

_“Aw, come on, you should’ve woken me up at 3 am if necessary!”_

_“There’s no need to torture you like that.”_

_Osamu laughed. It was a bright, light laugh that sounded like music in your ears._

_“How did you know?”_

_“Kita told us all. How did_ he _know? No idea, this guy just knows everything. Anyway, I was having breakfast with my girlfriend and he called me and…”_

_You gasped. Whatever else Osamu told you, your ears didn’t listen to it anymore. When he finally ended the sentence, you remained silent._

_“(y/n)?”_

_“You have a girlfriend?”_

_“…yes?”_

_You pressed a hand against your stomach. There was a painful knot inside, but when you spoke, you tried to sound as light as you could:_

_“And when were you planning to tell me?” You even faked a laugh._

_“I thought you knew.”_

_“I didn’t. Kita never calls me to tell me such things.”_

_“Damn it. Well, yes, I do have a girlfriend now.”_

_“How long have you been dating?” You dared ask._

_“Two months now.”_

_“Is she good?”_

_After a second, Osamu answered:_

_“Yes, she is.”_

_“That’s good. I’m happy for you, Osamu,” you said, a tear rolling down your cheek._

_For some reason, all your achievements in the last four years seemed trivial now. You looked around, listening as Osamu changed the topic, and you noticed dark clouds appearing on the horizon. There would be a storm that night._

He ran up the stairs. He tripped, twice. He hit his shin hard and the pain stung, but he kept running, his shoes slipping because of the wet soles. He could hear the rain outside. He climbed faster.

When he finally reached the rooftop, he slammed the door open. On the other side, next to the ledge, he saw a figure standing under that rain that could only be you. He rushed to you, thanking the gods.

“There you are. I’ve found you.”

“I’ve failed you, ‘Samu.”

“No… you haven’t. Don’t say that. _I_ have failed you.”

“Don’t ever say that…”

You plunged your face into his shirt, sobbing, and he hugged you tighter.

“You haven’t failed me, ‘Samu…” You repeated, your voice muffled against his chest.

“Of course I have. I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve called you earlier. You haven’t been yourself these days.”

“I didn’t want to worry you…”

“That doesn’t matter! If you have a problem, you can trust me! I should’ve talked to you earlier. Should’ve asked what was wrong. I…”

He cupped your face, analyzing your expression. The drops on your cheeks didn’t come from the rain, although you were soaked –and so was he.

“I didn’t want to ruin your smile. You are happy now, Osamu… you have everything you could wish for in your life.”

“(y/n)…” He grabbed your wrists, rubbing them with his thumbs. “I can’t be happy if you aren’t happy.”

“Of course you can. You have a successful business, you’re working on your dream job, you have a girlfriend…” You hiccupped.

He furrowed his brow.

“You’re soaked and you’ll get pneumonia if we stay out here any longer. Let’s go inside, come on.”

He pulled you towards the door, but you resisted.

“I don’t care if I get pneumonia.”

Now Osamu arched an eyebrow, questioning your words.

“…were you going to jump? Is that so?”

You didn’t reply.

“Because if that’s the plan, it’s not happening. Let’s go inside, _now._ ”

There was no resisting him, a guy much bigger and stronger than you. Much more easily than you would wish, he carried you towards the door and, once inside the safe building, he closed it, leaving you two in almost darkness at the top of the stairs, only a tiny emergency light illuminating the space.

You pressed your back against the wall, letting all the weight of your body lean on it. Still sobbing, your shoulders shaking, you looked at Osamu, waiting for answers.

“I’m a failure, Osamu.”

“Listen, (y/n)…” He rubbed his own wrist now. “I’ve always considered you an intelligent and reasonable person, but right now you’re only saying pure bullshit.”

You shut your mouth close, shocked at his answer.

“I’m not taking any of it, okay? Whatever your problem is, we’ll handle it, but not with that attitude."

You pressed a hand against your face, silencing a wail, and your body slid down the wall to the floor.

“No, we aren’t doing this, (y/n). Stand up, come on.” He grabbed you from under your shoulders and pulled you up to your feet again. You felt too weak to stand on your own, so he had to keep holding you. “Come on.”

You leaned against his body, your fingers closing around his shirt, wetting his clothes with your tears.

“Tell me what’s wrong. No filter. No censoring.” He rubbed your arms, slowly spreading some warmth into your freezing body.

When you finally spoke, you spouted everything that had been burdening you over the years, the snow ball that had gotten bigger and bigger as it rolled downhill without a single tree to stop it. You sobbed, ranted, vented your pains and your fears, hiccupped, hesitated, didn’t find the right words, repeated yourself again and again, but Osamu, patient as ever, simply listened to you, rubbing your arms, your shoulders and your back and slowly warming you up.

The snowball got smaller, melting slowly as the rain water dripped down your bodies and your clothes, pooling at your feet.

When you finally became quiet, Osamu breathed deeply.

“That was a lot.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for? I asked you to tell me. I’m _glad_ you did. Now you don’t have to carry this burden alone anymore.”

“I just ruined your day…” You whispered.

With a sigh, Osamu searched for your eyes.

“You know what ruined my day? Not seeing you in my shop today.”

“Did you miss me…?”

“Of course I did,” he replied, cupping your face gently.

“But why?”

Osamu gave you a pleading look, one that said “that bullshit again?”.

“Why not? You are my friend. Of course I miss you every day.”

“I miss the old days,” you muttered, raising your hands until your fingers found his, still around your face.

“I do, too, sometimes.”

“But you are happier now, and I wouldn’t change that for anything,” you added.

He gave you a look full of fondness.

“Even if you aren’t happy yourself?”

You nodded.

“But I can’t be happy without you in my life, (y/n).”

Again you gave him a small nod. You pressed his hand closer to your face, craving his warmth.

“You will find happiness too, (y/n). I promise. I’ll be there for you, by your side, helping you find it.”

And in that moment all you could think was how much you loved him and how much it pained you.

“Let’s go home. To my apartment, in fact –I want to keep an eye on you tonight. We need to change clothes and get warm or we’ll fall ill, and that’s never a good thing.” He held your hand and walked you down the stairs. “And I bet you haven’t eaten in hours, am I right? Yeah, I’ll cook something for you. Warm bath, then dinner, okay? And…”

“Isn’t your girlfriend home?” You asked with a frail voice.

Osamu stopped on his tracks, looked into your eyes and squeezed your hand.

“We broke up a while ago.”

An awkward silence. You resumed your way down, this time pulling his hand so he would follow you.

“Why hadn’t you told me?”

“It happened that day you travelled to Mexico, remember? When you were so jet-lagged that you talked like a drunk.”

“Wait. You sounded kinda off that day on the phone.”

“Yeah… I called you to tell you, but you sounded so tired and disoriented. And the plane lost your luggage too, remember?”

“What a hell of a day… I’d rather forget about it, actually,” you groaned.

You rubbed your throat –it hurt from crying so much.

“Me too… Anyway, I realized it wasn’t the right time to tell you, and when you called me days later, I assumed ‘Tsumu had already told you.”

“I’d have asked you how you were doing if I had known. Ah, never mind. What happened between you two?”

“I guess she wasn’t as good as I thought,” he shrugged.

“Hmmm.”

“Or maybe I wasn’t as good as she thought.”

“Allow me to doubt that.”

Osamu chuckled.

“So you broke up with her?”

“Hell, no. _She_ broke up with _me_.”

“Seriously? Well then, if she wasn’t _that_ good… good riddance.”

“I guess so. After all… she wasn’t as good as _you_.”

You reached the end of the stairs and opened the door to the street. Stopping there, you looked up at the sky: it had stopped raining and the clouds were dissipating, letting the faint moonlight through. Then you turned your attention to Osamu.

“You want something from me, don’t you,” you said bluntly, and Osamu quickly interpreted it as a joke. You two knew each other well. “You only praise me when you want something.”

“Oh yes,” he laughed lowly, rubbing your hand with his thumb. “I want you to _stay safe_.”

You blinked, and he pulled you towards the right direction, following the wet street.

“Let’s go home, (y/n). And tell me what onigiri flavor I should prepare for you tomorrow.”

“Surprise me.”

“Salmon, then.”

“No. Not salmon.”

“Fussy.”

And his beautiful laugh echoed in the night.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic during a bad time and I hope it helps comfort other people too.  
> I’m very fond of this fic and I hope you enjoy it.   
> You can find it on my Tumblr too, where you can also read my other works (I upload more works there, if you like the Miya twins and want to read extra stuff about them: ohmythatmiya.tumblr.com)


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